I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
