half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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