And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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