Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
