I think i peed on brittanys purse
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
