Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
