There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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