a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize