in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
