He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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