We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
