I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
