You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
