At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
