I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he thought i was a dude.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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