im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
