Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
