I must be too annoying 4 u.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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