butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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