Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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