Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
