That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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