i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I cut my penus on the lid.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Someone signed my nipple.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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