Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
