does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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