i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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