Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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