my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
