I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
