its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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