Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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