Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
