It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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