Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
