One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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