just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
