Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
