They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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