im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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