found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
