shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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