is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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