I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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