A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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