Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
