need another drink. this is the easiest way
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
