May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
