How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
