id be glad to
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
