he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
