A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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