I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
