TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
