Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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