Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
