honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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