bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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