I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
