Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
