for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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