and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
