If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
