i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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