I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
