reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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