Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
