All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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