I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
