i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
