Pants 0. Shit 1.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
