You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
