Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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