btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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